The Difficult Parent

An Educator's Guide to Handling Aggressive Behavior
Charles M. Jaksec - Hillsborough County School District
The Difficult Parent
June 2004 | 168 pages | Corwin
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ISBN: 9781452239002
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ISBN: 9780761988991
Available from January 0001

Description

Specific strategies for working successfully with challenging parents

Parents are a vital source of support for our schools. School personnel interact with parents on a daily basis and fortunately, most of these interactions are pleasant and helpful, keeping students' needs in mind. Instances of parental aggression, however, do occur. Volatile or confrontational parents present many unique challenges for educators who have long overlooked this important issue.

The Difficult Parent digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators. The guide is organized into three modules:

digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators. The guide is organized into three modules:
  1. An introductory examination of parental aggression and confrontation
  2. An in-depth explanation of the RAID approach and its mechanics
  3. Step-by-step instructions for facilitating the RAID approach in any academic setting

Comprehensive in scope, the RAID approach targets four steps to working successfully with difficult parents:

  • Recognize the potential for a volatile encounter
  • Assess your ability to deal effectively with the situation
  • Identify your advantages
  • Defuse the parent's aggression during the initial approach and greeting

This effective, proven approach is based on real professionals' mistakes and successes. Specially featured scenarios and anecdotes depict confrontational situations experienced by school personnel, including "from the trenches" interviews with educators who have successfully implemented the RAID approach in their schools. A facilitator's guide is also included for practical implementation of the RAID approach in the academic setting.

Contents

Acknowledgements

Acknowledgements

About the Author

About the Author

Introduction

Introduction

Part I: Parental Aggression Towards School Personnel

  • 1. A Genuine Concern for School Personnel
  • Are Confrontational Parents a Pertinent Issue?
  • How Often Does Parental Aggression Occur?
  • Do Employees Have to Tolerate Parental Aggression?
  • Could Parental Aggression Affect Me?
  • Why Does the Topic of Parental Aggression Seem Obscure?
  • What Makes Parental Aggression a Unique Issue?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 2. The Reactive Nature of Education
  • The Effects of Reactivity
  • Is a Proactive Approach Necessary?
  • Why Does This Feel Funny?
  • Why Do Parents Become Hostile?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 3. Confrontational Parents and Your Colleagues
  • School Administrators
  • Teachers
  • Guidance Counselors
  • School Social Workers
  • School Health Personnel
  • Office Personnel
  • School Psychologists
  • Other School Personnel
  • Questions for Discussion

Part II: An Approach to Address Parental Aggression

  • 4. The RAID Approach
  • What Have We Established So Far?
  • Seven Frequently Asked Questions Regarding the RAID Approach
  • Just Common Sense
  • A Schoolwide Approach to Parental Aggression
  • Brevity and Simplicity
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 5. RAID Step One: Recognizing the Potential for a Volatile Encounter
  • To Meet or Not to Meet
  • When is it Too Risky to Meet With a Parent?
  • How Do You Say No?
  • The "Guilts"
  • Step One in Motion
  • Step One Summary
  • Step One Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 6. RAID Step Two: Assessing Your Ability to Emotionally Handle the Situation
  • What Types of Issues Affect Our Emotions and Disposition?
  • Face Number Four
  • Early-Warning Colleagues
  • "I'll be Back"
  • Step Two Summary
  • Step Two Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 7. RAID Step Three: Identifying Your Advantages
  • Advantages: What's Available?
  • Workforce Advantages
  • Environmental Advantages
  • Step Three Summary
  • Step Three Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 8. RAID Step Four: Diffusing Anger During the Initial Approach and Greeting
  • Observing the Parent
  • Approaching the Parent
  • Greeting the Parent
  • Setting Parameters
  • Step Four Summary
  • Step Four Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 9. Putting the RAID Approach to Work
  • Case #1: Mrs. Winslow
  • Case #2: Mrs. Cananski
  • Summary
  • Questions for Discussion

Part III: Issues, Questions, and Installation

  • 10. The Worst-Case Scenario ... and After
  • After the Confrontation
  • I Gotta Unload: The Importance of Debriefing
  • Summary
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 11. Four Great Questions
  • What If a Parent Becomes Aggressive and a Student Is in the Vicinity?
  • What If a Parent Confronts a Staff Member Off Campus?
  • Which Staff Member Plays the Most Important Role in the RAID Approach?
  • How Do You Handle a Parent When He or She Returns to the School?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • Resource A: Traumatic Stress Reactions Questionnaire
  • References
  • Facilitator's Guide
  • Who Should Use This Guide?
  • Who Should Receive a "RAID Approach" In-Service?
  • When Should The RAID Approach Be Installed?
  • How This Guide Is Organized
  • What Materials Are Necessary?
  • Materials for Facilitators
  • Materials for Participants
  • Module One
  • Task One: Introduce the Issue of Parental Aggression
  • Task Two: Identification of Previous Staff Interactions With Aggressive Parents
  • Task Three: Identify the Possible Effects of Parental Aggression on School Personnel
  • Task Four: Establish the Value of a Multidisciplinary Approach to Parental Aggression
  • Module Two
  • Task One: Introduce the RAID Approach
  • Task Two: Explain Step One: Recognizing the Potential for a Volatile Encounter
  • Task Three: Explain Step Two: Assessing Your Ability to Emotionally Handle the Situation
  • Task Four: Explain Step Three: Identifying Your Advantages
  • Task Five: Explain Step Four: Diffusing Parent Anger During the Initial Approach and Greeting
  • Module Three
  • Task One: Solicit Feedback Regarding the RAID Approach
  • Task Two: Identify Roles and Responsibilities
  • Task Three: Discuss Worst-Case Scenarios
  • Task Four: Establish a Debriefing Mechanism
  • Overhead #1
  • Overhead #2
  • Overhead #3
  • Overhead #4
  • Overhead #5
  • Overhead #6
  • Overhead #7
  • Overhead #8
  • Overhead #9
  • Index

Description

Specific strategies for working successfully with challenging parents

Parents are a vital source of support for our schools. School personnel interact with parents on a daily basis and fortunately, most of these interactions are pleasant and helpful, keeping students' needs in mind. Instances of parental aggression, however, do occur. Volatile or confrontational parents present many unique challenges for educators who have long overlooked this important issue.

The Difficult Parent digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators. The guide is organized into three modules:

digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators. The guide is organized into three modules:
  1. An introductory examination of parental aggression and confrontation
  2. An in-depth explanation of the RAID approach and its mechanics
  3. Step-by-step instructions for facilitating the RAID approach in any academic setting

Comprehensive in scope, the RAID approach targets four steps to working successfully with difficult parents:

  • Recognize the potential for a volatile encounter
  • Assess your ability to deal effectively with the situation
  • Identify your advantages
  • Defuse the parent's aggression during the initial approach and greeting

This effective, proven approach is based on real professionals' mistakes and successes. Specially featured scenarios and anecdotes depict confrontational situations experienced by school personnel, including "from the trenches" interviews with educators who have successfully implemented the RAID approach in their schools. A facilitator's guide is also included for practical implementation of the RAID approach in the academic setting.

Contents

Acknowledgements

Acknowledgements

About the Author

About the Author

Introduction

Introduction

Part I: Parental Aggression Towards School Personnel

  • 1. A Genuine Concern for School Personnel
  • Are Confrontational Parents a Pertinent Issue?
  • How Often Does Parental Aggression Occur?
  • Do Employees Have to Tolerate Parental Aggression?
  • Could Parental Aggression Affect Me?
  • Why Does the Topic of Parental Aggression Seem Obscure?
  • What Makes Parental Aggression a Unique Issue?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 2. The Reactive Nature of Education
  • The Effects of Reactivity
  • Is a Proactive Approach Necessary?
  • Why Does This Feel Funny?
  • Why Do Parents Become Hostile?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 3. Confrontational Parents and Your Colleagues
  • School Administrators
  • Teachers
  • Guidance Counselors
  • School Social Workers
  • School Health Personnel
  • Office Personnel
  • School Psychologists
  • Other School Personnel
  • Questions for Discussion

Part II: An Approach to Address Parental Aggression

  • 4. The RAID Approach
  • What Have We Established So Far?
  • Seven Frequently Asked Questions Regarding the RAID Approach
  • Just Common Sense
  • A Schoolwide Approach to Parental Aggression
  • Brevity and Simplicity
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 5. RAID Step One: Recognizing the Potential for a Volatile Encounter
  • To Meet or Not to Meet
  • When is it Too Risky to Meet With a Parent?
  • How Do You Say No?
  • The "Guilts"
  • Step One in Motion
  • Step One Summary
  • Step One Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 6. RAID Step Two: Assessing Your Ability to Emotionally Handle the Situation
  • What Types of Issues Affect Our Emotions and Disposition?
  • Face Number Four
  • Early-Warning Colleagues
  • "I'll be Back"
  • Step Two Summary
  • Step Two Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 7. RAID Step Three: Identifying Your Advantages
  • Advantages: What's Available?
  • Workforce Advantages
  • Environmental Advantages
  • Step Three Summary
  • Step Three Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 8. RAID Step Four: Diffusing Anger During the Initial Approach and Greeting
  • Observing the Parent
  • Approaching the Parent
  • Greeting the Parent
  • Setting Parameters
  • Step Four Summary
  • Step Four Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 9. Putting the RAID Approach to Work
  • Case #1: Mrs. Winslow
  • Case #2: Mrs. Cananski
  • Summary
  • Questions for Discussion

Part III: Issues, Questions, and Installation

  • 10. The Worst-Case Scenario ... and After
  • After the Confrontation
  • I Gotta Unload: The Importance of Debriefing
  • Summary
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 11. Four Great Questions
  • What If a Parent Becomes Aggressive and a Student Is in the Vicinity?
  • What If a Parent Confronts a Staff Member Off Campus?
  • Which Staff Member Plays the Most Important Role in the RAID Approach?
  • How Do You Handle a Parent When He or She Returns to the School?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • Resource A: Traumatic Stress Reactions Questionnaire
  • References
  • Facilitator's Guide
  • Who Should Use This Guide?
  • Who Should Receive a "RAID Approach" In-Service?
  • When Should The RAID Approach Be Installed?
  • How This Guide Is Organized
  • What Materials Are Necessary?
  • Materials for Facilitators
  • Materials for Participants
  • Module One
  • Task One: Introduce the Issue of Parental Aggression
  • Task Two: Identification of Previous Staff Interactions With Aggressive Parents
  • Task Three: Identify the Possible Effects of Parental Aggression on School Personnel
  • Task Four: Establish the Value of a Multidisciplinary Approach to Parental Aggression
  • Module Two
  • Task One: Introduce the RAID Approach
  • Task Two: Explain Step One: Recognizing the Potential for a Volatile Encounter
  • Task Three: Explain Step Two: Assessing Your Ability to Emotionally Handle the Situation
  • Task Four: Explain Step Three: Identifying Your Advantages
  • Task Five: Explain Step Four: Diffusing Parent Anger During the Initial Approach and Greeting
  • Module Three
  • Task One: Solicit Feedback Regarding the RAID Approach
  • Task Two: Identify Roles and Responsibilities
  • Task Three: Discuss Worst-Case Scenarios
  • Task Four: Establish a Debriefing Mechanism
  • Overhead #1
  • Overhead #2
  • Overhead #3
  • Overhead #4
  • Overhead #5
  • Overhead #6
  • Overhead #7
  • Overhead #8
  • Overhead #9
  • Index
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The Difficult Parent

An Educator's Guide to Handling Aggressive Behavior

Charles M. Jaksec
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June 2004 | 168 pages | Corwin

Format Published Date ISBN Price
Paperback 01/02/2026 9780761988991 $37.95
Lifetime 01/02/2026 9781452239002 $35.00

Specific strategies for working successfully with challenging parents

Parents are a vital source of support for our schools. School personnel interact with parents on a daily basis and fortunately, most of these interactions are pleasant and helpful, keeping students' needs in mind. Instances of parental aggression, however, do occur. Volatile or confrontational parents present many unique challenges for educators who have long overlooked this important issue.

The Difficult Parent digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators. The guide is organized into three modules:

digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators. The guide is organized into three modules:
  1. An introductory examination of parental aggression and confrontation
  2. An in-depth explanation of the RAID approach and its mechanics
  3. Step-by-step instructions for facilitating the RAID approach in any academic setting

Comprehensive in scope, the RAID approach targets four steps to working successfully with difficult parents:

  • Recognize the potential for a volatile encounter
  • Assess your ability to deal effectively with the situation
  • Identify your advantages
  • Defuse the parent's aggression during the initial approach and greeting

This effective, proven approach is based on real professionals' mistakes and successes. Specially featured scenarios and anecdotes depict confrontational situations experienced by school personnel, including "from the trenches" interviews with educators who have successfully implemented the RAID approach in their schools. A facilitator's guide is also included for practical implementation of the RAID approach in the academic setting.


Table Of Contents:

  • Acknowledgements
  • About the Author
  • Introduction
  • Part I: Parental Aggression Towards School Personnel
  • 1. A Genuine Concern for School Personnel
  • Are Confrontational Parents a Pertinent Issue?
  • How Often Does Parental Aggression Occur?
  • Do Employees Have to Tolerate Parental Aggression?
  • Could Parental Aggression Affect Me?
  • Why Does the Topic of Parental Aggression Seem Obscure?
  • What Makes Parental Aggression a Unique Issue?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 2. The Reactive Nature of Education
  • The Effects of Reactivity
  • Is a Proactive Approach Necessary?
  • Why Does This Feel Funny?
  • Why Do Parents Become Hostile?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 3. Confrontational Parents and Your Colleagues
  • School Administrators
  • Teachers
  • Guidance Counselors
  • School Social Workers
  • School Health Personnel
  • Office Personnel
  • School Psychologists
  • Other School Personnel
  • Questions for Discussion
  • Part II: An Approach to Address Parental Aggression
  • 4. The RAID Approach
  • What Have We Established So Far?
  • Seven Frequently Asked Questions Regarding the RAID Approach
  • Just Common Sense
  • A Schoolwide Approach to Parental Aggression
  • Brevity and Simplicity
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 5. RAID Step One: Recognizing the Potential for a Volatile Encounter
  • To Meet or Not to Meet
  • When is it Too Risky to Meet With a Parent?
  • How Do You Say No?
  • The "Guilts"
  • Step One in Motion
  • Step One Summary
  • Step One Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 6. RAID Step Two: Assessing Your Ability to Emotionally Handle the Situation
  • What Types of Issues Affect Our Emotions and Disposition?
  • Face Number Four
  • Early-Warning Colleagues
  • "I'll be Back"
  • Step Two Summary
  • Step Two Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 7. RAID Step Three: Identifying Your Advantages
  • Advantages: What's Available?
  • Workforce Advantages
  • Environmental Advantages
  • Step Three Summary
  • Step Three Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 8. RAID Step Four: Diffusing Anger During the Initial Approach and Greeting
  • Observing the Parent
  • Approaching the Parent
  • Greeting the Parent
  • Setting Parameters
  • Step Four Summary
  • Step Four Checklist
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 9. Putting the RAID Approach to Work
  • Case #1: Mrs. Winslow
  • Case #2: Mrs. Cananski
  • Summary
  • Questions for Discussion
  • Part III: Issues, Questions, and Installation
  • 10. The Worst-Case Scenario ... and After
  • After the Confrontation
  • I Gotta Unload: The Importance of Debriefing
  • Summary
  • Questions for Discussion
  • 11. Four Great Questions
  • What If a Parent Becomes Aggressive and a Student Is in the Vicinity?
  • What If a Parent Confronts a Staff Member Off Campus?
  • Which Staff Member Plays the Most Important Role in the RAID Approach?
  • How Do You Handle a Parent When He or She Returns to the School?
  • Questions for Discussion
  • Resource A: Traumatic Stress Reactions Questionnaire
  • References
  • Facilitator's Guide
  • Who Should Use This Guide?
  • Who Should Receive a "RAID Approach" In-Service?
  • When Should The RAID Approach Be Installed?
  • How This Guide Is Organized
  • What Materials Are Necessary?
  • Materials for Facilitators
  • Materials for Participants
  • Module One
  • Task One: Introduce the Issue of Parental Aggression
  • Task Two: Identification of Previous Staff Interactions With Aggressive Parents
  • Task Three: Identify the Possible Effects of Parental Aggression on School Personnel
  • Task Four: Establish the Value of a Multidisciplinary Approach to Parental Aggression
  • Module Two
  • Task One: Introduce the RAID Approach
  • Task Two: Explain Step One: Recognizing the Potential for a Volatile Encounter
  • Task Three: Explain Step Two: Assessing Your Ability to Emotionally Handle the Situation
  • Task Four: Explain Step Three: Identifying Your Advantages
  • Task Five: Explain Step Four: Diffusing Parent Anger During the Initial Approach and Greeting
  • Module Three
  • Task One: Solicit Feedback Regarding the RAID Approach
  • Task Two: Identify Roles and Responsibilities
  • Task Three: Discuss Worst-Case Scenarios
  • Task Four: Establish a Debriefing Mechanism
  • Overhead #1
  • Overhead #2
  • Overhead #3
  • Overhead #4
  • Overhead #5
  • Overhead #6
  • Overhead #7
  • Overhead #8
  • Overhead #9
  • Index

Recent Product Reviews:

"Clearly directed toward solutions, rather than perpetuating the ‘blame game.’ I highly recommend it. Nice job!"
Susan M. Nakaba, Associate Principal, Palos Verdes High School, Rolling Hills Estates, CA
"The manner in which information is presented is clear, concise, and easy to follow. The common sense approach is excellent."
Edward Chevalier, Principal, Blalack Middle School, Carrollton, TX
"This is a very impressive book--a must-read for new administrators and a great book club read for any administrator group."
Larry Birdsell, Principal, Cypress Elementary School, Newbury Park, CA

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