Having Hard Conversations
January 2009 | 152 pages | Corwin
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ISBN: 9781452295664
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ISBN: 9781412965002
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Description

"A thoughtful map for authentically engaging in and learning from hard conversations. Abrams gently teaches us why having these conversations matter and how they can help us grow."
—Eleanor Drago-Severson, Associate Professor of Educational Leadership
Teachers College, Columbia University

"A wonderful combination of coaching, consulting, and crafting a way of teaching us all to speak honestly in our relationships."
—Ann Lieberman, Senior Scholar
Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching

"Our teaching culture is adverse to conflict. Having tools like this will move education forward as a profession."
—Michael Grinder, National Director and Educational Consultant
NLP in Education

"This book has already changed my life. Just by reading it, my courage to have hard conversations has soared."
—Beth Madison, Principal
George Middle School, Portland, OR

Speak with clarity, confidence, and courage!

For many educators, confronting a colleague about a work-related issue can be a daunting matter. This insightful book helps educators speak with clarity and courage to directly address difficult situations within their schools.

Having Hard Conversations provides an interactive, personal approach to mastering the art of challenging conversations. The author's step-by-step strategy addresses a wide range of situations, including communication with supervisees, peers, and supervisors. Emphasizing that initiative and preparation are the keys to a successful conversation, this resource includes:

  • Thought-provoking questions and first-person accounts that help educators become more self-aware, effective communicators
  • Advice on overcoming personal hesitation about expressing concerns
  • Guidance on identifying goals for the conversation and choosing the best "what-where-and-when" for a productive discussion
  • Sample scripts and practical tools to help educators prepare for the conversation

By addressing important issues directly and professionally, educators can find self-empowerment and promote an open, healthy school environment.

Contents

Foreword by Arthur L. Costa

Foreword by Arthur L. Costa

Preface

Preface

Acknowledgments

Acknowledgments

About the Author

About the Author

1. What Are Hard Conversations and Why Should We Have Them?

1. What Are Hard Conversations and Why Should We Have Them?

2. Why We Hesitate Having Hard Conversations

2. Why We Hesitate Having Hard Conversations

3. Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having the Hard Conversation

3. Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having the Hard Conversation

4. What’s the Real Problem?: Finding the Professional Language to Name It

4. What’s the Real Problem?: Finding the Professional Language to Name It

5. Making a Plan

5. Making a Plan

6. Scripting Your Initial Comments

6. Scripting Your Initial Comments

7. The Whats, Wheres, and Whens of Having the Hard Conversation

7. The Whats, Wheres, and Whens of Having the Hard Conversation

8. What Ifs? Other Types of Hard Conversations

8. What Ifs? Other Types of Hard Conversations

9. Conclusion

9. Conclusion

Appendix A. Extended List of Professional Behaviors

Appendix A. Extended List of Professional Behaviors

Appendix B. School Savvy Etiquette

Appendix B. School Savvy Etiquette

Appendix C. Sample Scripts for Hard Conversations

Appendix C. Sample Scripts for Hard Conversations

References

References

Index

Index

Description

"A thoughtful map for authentically engaging in and learning from hard conversations. Abrams gently teaches us why having these conversations matter and how they can help us grow."
—Eleanor Drago-Severson, Associate Professor of Educational Leadership
Teachers College, Columbia University

"A wonderful combination of coaching, consulting, and crafting a way of teaching us all to speak honestly in our relationships."
—Ann Lieberman, Senior Scholar
Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching

"Our teaching culture is adverse to conflict. Having tools like this will move education forward as a profession."
—Michael Grinder, National Director and Educational Consultant
NLP in Education

"This book has already changed my life. Just by reading it, my courage to have hard conversations has soared."
—Beth Madison, Principal
George Middle School, Portland, OR

Speak with clarity, confidence, and courage!

For many educators, confronting a colleague about a work-related issue can be a daunting matter. This insightful book helps educators speak with clarity and courage to directly address difficult situations within their schools.

Having Hard Conversations provides an interactive, personal approach to mastering the art of challenging conversations. The author's step-by-step strategy addresses a wide range of situations, including communication with supervisees, peers, and supervisors. Emphasizing that initiative and preparation are the keys to a successful conversation, this resource includes:

  • Thought-provoking questions and first-person accounts that help educators become more self-aware, effective communicators
  • Advice on overcoming personal hesitation about expressing concerns
  • Guidance on identifying goals for the conversation and choosing the best "what-where-and-when" for a productive discussion
  • Sample scripts and practical tools to help educators prepare for the conversation

By addressing important issues directly and professionally, educators can find self-empowerment and promote an open, healthy school environment.

Contents

Foreword by Arthur L. Costa

Foreword by Arthur L. Costa

Preface

Preface

Acknowledgments

Acknowledgments

About the Author

About the Author

1. What Are Hard Conversations and Why Should We Have Them?

1. What Are Hard Conversations and Why Should We Have Them?

2. Why We Hesitate Having Hard Conversations

2. Why We Hesitate Having Hard Conversations

3. Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having the Hard Conversation

3. Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having the Hard Conversation

4. What’s the Real Problem?: Finding the Professional Language to Name It

4. What’s the Real Problem?: Finding the Professional Language to Name It

5. Making a Plan

5. Making a Plan

6. Scripting Your Initial Comments

6. Scripting Your Initial Comments

7. The Whats, Wheres, and Whens of Having the Hard Conversation

7. The Whats, Wheres, and Whens of Having the Hard Conversation

8. What Ifs? Other Types of Hard Conversations

8. What Ifs? Other Types of Hard Conversations

9. Conclusion

9. Conclusion

Appendix A. Extended List of Professional Behaviors

Appendix A. Extended List of Professional Behaviors

Appendix B. School Savvy Etiquette

Appendix B. School Savvy Etiquette

Appendix C. Sample Scripts for Hard Conversations

Appendix C. Sample Scripts for Hard Conversations

References

References

Index

Index

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Having Hard Conversations


January 2009 | 152 pages | Corwin

Format Published Date ISBN Price
Paperback 01/01/2025 9781412965002 $40.95
Lifetime 01/01/2025 9781452295664 $37.00

"A thoughtful map for authentically engaging in and learning from hard conversations. Abrams gently teaches us why having these conversations matter and how they can help us grow."
—Eleanor Drago-Severson, Associate Professor of Educational Leadership
Teachers College, Columbia University

"A wonderful combination of coaching, consulting, and crafting a way of teaching us all to speak honestly in our relationships."
—Ann Lieberman, Senior Scholar
Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching

"Our teaching culture is adverse to conflict. Having tools like this will move education forward as a profession."
—Michael Grinder, National Director and Educational Consultant
NLP in Education

"This book has already changed my life. Just by reading it, my courage to have hard conversations has soared."
—Beth Madison, Principal
George Middle School, Portland, OR

Speak with clarity, confidence, and courage!

For many educators, confronting a colleague about a work-related issue can be a daunting matter. This insightful book helps educators speak with clarity and courage to directly address difficult situations within their schools.

Having Hard Conversations provides an interactive, personal approach to mastering the art of challenging conversations. The author's step-by-step strategy addresses a wide range of situations, including communication with supervisees, peers, and supervisors. Emphasizing that initiative and preparation are the keys to a successful conversation, this resource includes:

  • Thought-provoking questions and first-person accounts that help educators become more self-aware, effective communicators
  • Advice on overcoming personal hesitation about expressing concerns
  • Guidance on identifying goals for the conversation and choosing the best "what-where-and-when" for a productive discussion
  • Sample scripts and practical tools to help educators prepare for the conversation

By addressing important issues directly and professionally, educators can find self-empowerment and promote an open, healthy school environment.


Table Of Contents:

  • Foreword by Arthur L. Costa
  • Preface
  • Acknowledgments
  • About the Author
  • 1. What Are Hard Conversations and Why Should We Have Them?
  • 2. Why We Hesitate Having Hard Conversations
  • 3. Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having the Hard Conversation
  • 4. What’s the Real Problem?: Finding the Professional Language to Name It
  • 5. Making a Plan
  • 6. Scripting Your Initial Comments
  • 7. The Whats, Wheres, and Whens of Having the Hard Conversation
  • 8. What Ifs? Other Types of Hard Conversations
  • 9. Conclusion
  • Appendix A. Extended List of Professional Behaviors
  • Appendix B. School Savvy Etiquette
  • Appendix C. Sample Scripts for Hard Conversations
  • References
  • Index

Recent Product Reviews:

"A straightforward, practical and useful guide for engaging in difficult conversations."
Lauren Levin, School Social Work Journal, September 2010 (Vol. 35, No. 1)
I received it too late to add for this semester.
Professor Wayne OGDEN, Education Dept, Northeastern University
"This book has already changed my life. Just by reading it, my courage to have hard conversations has soared."
Beth Madison, Principal, George Middle School, Portland, OR
"A wonderful combination of coaching, consulting, and crafting a way of teaching us all to speak honestly in our relationships. From casual conversations to value conflicts, we learn to use and become sensitive to differences in gender, style, and position in this very appealing and important book. A must-read for teachers, principals, and district office personnel who care about developing a healthy school community."
Ann Lieberman, Senior Scholar, Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching
"Our teaching culture is adverse to conflict. Having tools like this will move education forward as a profession."
Michael Grinder, National Director and Educational Consultant, NLP in Education

Recommendations